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Monday, 10 July 2006
I'm Outta Here
Mood:  irritated
Topic: Tirades
Due to all the continuing problems with this site, I've moved!

The new address is:

http://westword.typepad.com/

Bookmark it and visit me there!

Edited to add: Now this stupid, stupid site won't even let me insert a link you can click on. You'll have to copy and paste to find me. Grrr.


Posted by catherino at 12:35 PM PDT
Updated: Monday, 10 July 2006 12:42 PM PDT
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Tuesday, 20 June 2006
I Am Officially Grossed Out
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: Tirades

I just saw the most horrifying thing on a tv commercial. KFC (that's what they want you to call them now - not Kentucky Fried Chicken - "your arteries won't know you're filling 'em with trans-fats if you don't tell 'em!") is now featuring something they call a "Famous Bowl".

It's a big bowl full of mashed potatoes. Topped with corn. Layered with bits of fried chicken. Smothered in gravy. And covered with "a 3-cheese blend". That is NOT RIGHT. Now I grew up in Georgia and I have eaten more than my fair share of fried chicken. And I still love it dearly, although I suffer severe guilt when I do eat it. And gravy? Gravy is a BEVERAGE where I come from. Actually, all the separate ingredients contained in this vile concoction are fine and dandy in their own right...but sweet jesus on a cracker, who is the culinary genius who came up with throwing them all in the same bowl together 'au gratin'??

First of all, it HAD to be a guy. I mean, it just had to be. Or possibly a pregnant woman with a major carb craving. But man, why don't you just serve it with a scoop of ice cream and some chocolate sauce and call it a day? It would be just as appetizing.

I think it might be a while until fried chicken sounds good to me. So for that, I thank you KFC. And my ass and arteries thank you too.


Posted by catherino at 4:11 PM PDT
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Monday, 30 January 2006
SENSELESS
Mood:  irritated
Topic: Tirades
Thanks to my boys' bouts with ear infections (both), pneumonia (Noah) and bronchitis (Nicklaus), I've been battling some nasty combination of all of the above. Thanks to various antibiotics, we're all feeling much better - but that's sort of relative. Better than SHIT is not necessarily hard to achieve.

While I don't feel the intense desire to curl up in a ball and sleep for 3 days that I did last week, I'm now going on day 4 of absolutely ZERO sense of smell. ZERO smells. It is driving me berserk. Pros: Poopy diapers? Big deal! Granted, they still look disgusting, but unless I didn't know better, you could tell me they smell like gardenias and I couldn't argue.

Yesterday I was in the kitchen prepping for dinner. We usually have Mike's father & step-mother over on Sunday nights and I usually try to show off a little - mainly because they always bring yummy (expensive) wine and I feel like my food should do it justice. So anyway, I'm making a little mayonnaise sauce for the steamed asparagus and I'm mincing a clove of garlic to put in it. I put my nose literally 2 inches from this pile of garlic and sniffed as hard as I could. NOTHING. The little prime rib roast was roasting away in the oven and I had to ask Mike, "Can you smell that yet?". He said, "Uh yeah - I've been drooling for an hour already".

I just never realized how much I depend on my sense of smell. Everything I eat or drink tastes flat. I made french onion soup for dinner on Saturday night and although Mike and his mom raved about how good it was, I might as well have been eating cup-a-soup or something. So frustrating. I'm not a perfectionist in all things, but I am in my cooking. I'm very good at it. I take pride in it. It's one of my passions. Not knowing what something really smells or tastes like - especially if I'm serving it to someone else - is a huge frustration.

I'm trying to find the bright side. So far, everything in the bright side column is poop or gas-related. I guess that comes with the territory when you're the lone female in a house full of boys.

****************************************************

Conversation I just had with Mike:

Him: "So what's for dinner tonight?"
Me: "I've got a chicken, but I don't know what I'm gonna do with it yet. It's hard to get enthusiastic about cooking when you can't smell and can barely taste. I might as well boil the damn thing - it all tastes the same to me."
Him: "God, it must suck being you."
Me: "Yeah - it's gonna suck for you too when all you get is boiled chicken for dinner."


Posted by catherino at 2:21 PM PST
Updated: Monday, 30 January 2006 2:29 PM PST
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Wednesday, 21 September 2005
Absolute Torture: A story of how hives suck
Mood:  irritated
Topic: Tirades
I am in AGONY! My wonderful little 'happy pills' that I've been taking to combat depression have suddenly declared war on my body and I am an itchy, hive-covered MESS. I've never had hives before. I had NO idea what I was missing. It is without a doubt the most agonizing thing I've ever experienced. My hips, thighs and the backs of my arms were covered yesterday in big red raised angry welts. Mmmmm, sexy! I can't even begine to describe how bad they itched. It was itching taken to heights never before reached in the annuls of itchdom. I even had hives on the bottom of my FEET. How is that even possible? I swear it felt like I was walking on golf balls. GAH! Oh yeah - I even had hives (a hive? it was just one) in the crack of my ass! That is fucked up.

I'm better today - although honestly I don't think it could have gotten any worse (Note to universe: please don't feel the need to prove me wrong on that). I have never experienced torture like this. Needless to say, I didn't take my medication this morning. I'll start back tomorrow on the lowest dose and pray this freaking plague doesn't return. I really don't want to go off the Wellbutrin. It's good shit. Plus it has the good-for-me side effect of being very appetite suppressive. Most anti-depressants have the opposite effect, so that's a huge bonus in my book.

I'm off to take another swig of Benadryl.


Posted by catherino at 2:55 PM PDT
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